Popcorn, Handcuffs andPorn?
by theoly21
Summary: What happens when Thirteen falls asleep with her laptop open? House makes her a victim of his antics.


**Popcorn, Handcuffs and…Porn?**

Thirteen woke to a light pounding in her head and a stiff neck. Grimacing at the movement as she straightened and sat back in her chair, she realized that she'd fallen asleep at the desk in the DDX room while working on her laptop. She glanced at the clock on her laptop and was surprised to see that nearly two hours had passed since she'd last remembered looking at the clock.

A bucket of popcorn set to the side of her and she frowned in confusion as she saw a piece of scrap paper attached to the bucket. Pulling it off she read, 'Enjoy the show.' Thirteen's frown deepened at the cryptic message and set the paper back down on the desk, momentarily forgetting about it as her brain tried to wake itself up completely.

Yawning, she brought her hand up to rub at the back of her neck to try to soothe the ache but something stopped her hand from reaching. It wasn't until then that she realized the feel of something on her wrist and she looked down to see what was obstructing her movement. Her eyes widened and her mouth gaped at she stared in shock at the sight of her wrist in handcuffs attached to the side leg of the table. She gave it a yank, why, she didn't know because she knew that it wouldn't suddenly come undone but that didn't stop her from trying.

Thirteen groaned after a final yank and dropped her head on the desk, cursing her tiredness for letting her get into this situation. There was no doubt in her mind who was behind the handcuffs and despite working for House for over a year, she was still surprised at the ridiculousness of the handcuffs, especially since no one was here to see her imprisoned.

After her moment of self pity passed, she lifted her head and reached for the phone to call Cuddy only when she picked it up, there was no sound at all. Turning the machine with her one free hand, she saw that the cable was unplugged and nowhere to be found. Giving a loud curse, she immediately moved her hand to the coat pocket only to realize that she'd left her phone in her locker.

She wanted to beat her head against the table and nearly did until she took notice of what was on her laptop screen. The laptop had gone to the screensaver but it wasn't her normal screensaver. Someone, most likely House, had changed it to a bunch of scantily clad women passing over the screen, smirking lecherously back at her. Thirteen rolled her eyes at House's childishness and rubbed the touch pad to wake it up. What she saw on the screen was even worse than the screensaver.

In multiple open Internet windows were sites and videos of what looked to be all lesbian porn.

The audacity of her crazy, maniacal boss shouldn't surprise her after almost a year and a half of working for him but the situation that she was currently in was truly ridiculous. In a quick motion, she closed out the multiple windows of websites and sat back in her chair to ponder her options.

She could send an email to someone telling them her situation but the chances of someone getting her email in a timely enough manner to help her was slim. Another option was that she could find something to throw at the glass window/wall in hopes of getting someone's attention but she wasn't nearly desperate enough yet to do that. The explanation she would have to give to her savior would just make her look pathetic. Though with the late hour of the night there was a good chance that nobody was even around to hear the noise anyway.

So, her only viable options were to throw something at the wall or to find a way to get herself out of the handcuffs on her own. Decision made, Thirteen scanned the contents of the desk and upon seeing nothing useful on the desktop, started opening drawers. She was nearly at wits end when she spotted a box of paperclips buried underneath a stack of notepads.

Thirteen yanked the box out with a cry of triumph and, struggling a bit with getting the box open with only one hand, pulled out a paperclip. Leaning down so that she could bend out the paperclip with the help of her handcuffed hand, Thirteen set in to free herself of her bindings.

She was just getting started when she heard the door to the diagnostics room open.

It was a little daunting walking down the halls of the deserted hospital in the late hours of the night. Even after having worked at Princeton Plainsboro for over three years and the numerous late night shifts that she had pulled with House's cases, Cameron still felt a little creeped out by the quietness. Since the visiting hours were over, there were no family members waiting in the hallways or the waiting rooms and there weren't as many hospital personnel as there was in the daytime. Sometimes she thought that the hospital corridors would be a perfect setting for a horror movie.

She rounded the corner of one of the hallways on the diagnostics floor and when the diagnostics office came into view, she was a little surprised to see that there was a small light coming from the DDX room. A quick peek into House's office showed no evidence of someone being there so when she opened the doors to the DDX room, she fully expected to come in contact with one of the janitors doing their rounds.

What she saw was a figure hunched over behind the small desk nearest House's office. At the sound of the door opening, the figure shot up in the chair and Cameron was greeted with the sight of a deer in the headlights.

"Cameron," the brunette blurted out, clearly not expecting to see the blonde standing in the room.

"Thirteen. You…okay?" Cameron questioned slowly, miffed by the brunette's odd behavior upon noticing her.

"Fine," she answered quickly. "What are you doing here?"

"Cuddy asked me to do some of House's patient files since the ER is slow tonight," she said as she neared the desk. It wasn't until then that she understood why the brunette was hunched over. Her brows shot up in bafflement. "Are those…handcuffs?"

Thirteen grimaced, looking to all the world like she wanted to fall into a deep, black hole and never be seen again. "Yes and to answer your other question, it was House."

"Uh huh," Cameron deadpanned, staring at the brunette and trying to keep a smirk from forming. "How did he even get you in those in the first place? Aside from the rumors I hear, I didn't take you to be willing to do handcuffs at work."

Thirteen seemed to ignore the second part of her comment. "I fell asleep. Despite having dealt with House for a while now, I have yet to learn how to defend myself in my sleep," she quipped.

Cameron smiled, nodding. "And I'm guessing you don't have any idea where he hid the key?"

The brunette held up the bent paperclip. "You any good at picking locks?"

She chuckled, grabbing the paperclip to help the younger woman out of her awkward predicament. Kneeling to get a better angle at the handcuffs, she set in to pick at the lock.

"I figured you'd be good at picking locks by now," Cameron remarked as she bit her lower lip in concentration.

"I can pick locks," Thirteen said indignantly. "It's just a little hard when one of your hands is attached to what you're trying to unlock."

Cameron quirked a brow in understanding. "He have a plan with handcuffing you to the desk?"

"House changed my screensaver to scantily clad women and opened a bunch of lesbian porn sites and videos on my laptop." Thirteen grabbed the bucket of popcorn with the note attached and held it up for the blonde to see. "He even left me a snack," she said sarcastically.

Cameron shook her head laughing at seeing the note attached to the bucket of popcorn.

"Hey, at least he left you something to eat," she said as she wiggled the paperclip a little and heard a 'tick' sound. Grinning in victory, Cameron leaned back and stood up as Thirteen looked at her hopefully before pulling on her arm to test the handcuffs. The cuff attached to her wrist dropped off and clinked against the metal of the table leg.

Thirteen sighed in relief and leaned back in her chair. "Thank you."

"No problem," she smiled then paused as the brunette started to clean up the desk area and shut down her computer. "…So, did his plan work?"

The brunette looked up at her curiously. "What do you mean?"

"Did you watch anything?" she blurted out and blushed at the inappropriate question and how odd it must seem coming from someone that she barely even knows.

Thirteen quirked a brow and smirked. "Nope. Not my kinda thing. I'm not a fan of watching from a screen."

"Why not?"

Thirteen stood and took a step closer to Cameron, grinning at her smoothly. "Because I can't touch when I watch porn. I'm more of the…" she paused as she tried to teasingly come up with an appropriate phrase, "hands on type."

The blonde stood frozen at the obvious meaning behind Thirteen's words and felt her blush deepen. The brunette leaned forward slightly until she was nearly pressing her mouth to Cameron's ear.

"Thanks for rescuing me, Dr. Cameron," Thirteen whispered huskily in her ear before pulling back to shoot her a knowing and sexy grin and sidestepping the blonde to exit the diagnostics office with her laptop under her arm.

Cameron stood staring after the brunette, blushing to her roots at the shiver that ran down her spine at Thirteen's warm breath on her ear and the blatant sexy grin that was directed at her before she'd walked out of the office. Then she ducked her head letting a small smile spread over her face as she shook her head at the young brunette teasing her, moving to start on House's files.


End file.
